Interruption

I'm trying to process some events from my day and I'm finding it less than simple.  I need to let go of them - refuse to let them disturb my peace and well-being - but I'm doing too much hashing over in my mind to do any letting go.  Perhaps it would help if I could get it out of my head?  I don't always want or need to talk about the things that upset me, but I'll try it anyway. 

One reason why I don't always like to talk about these things (at least until I've had time to distance myself emotionally a bit) is because it's all so emotional that words can't effectively express what's going on.  I think, with that being the case, that it would help make it easier if I just make a list of thoughts, rather than trying to string them together into sentences and such.

• I am highly disturbed by the atmosphere that seems to prevail at work.  People are afraid of management, disappointed by management, and angered by management.
• I have a strong work ethic when it comes to my actual job (as opposed to cleaning the house and exercising and stuff).  Even though I've lost a lot of the naivete I had a decade ago, I continue to be surprised and infuriated when colleagues and bosses question my work ethic.
• IF YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE THE TIME AND ENERGY TO SPY ON YOUR EMPLOYEES, YOU HAD BETTER DO IT RIGHT.  When you only spy halfway, you get only half the story, which isn't enough to tell you what you're really trying to learn.
• IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO TAKE THE TIME AND ENERGY TO SPY RIGHT, YOU HAD BETTER AT LEAST TALK TO ME BEFORE FORMING YOUR IDIOT OPINIONS AND SHARING THEM WITH OTHERS.  Wanna know why you should do this??  Because what you think you saw ISN'T REALITY.  Oh, what did you say?  You don't care about reality?  Funny.  It would make a lot of sense to be more interested in truth than illusion.
• Why do employers still think that the only way to get people to do good work for them is to scare them into it?  Guess what - people will only REALLY do a good job when they want to, and they aren't interested in doing the tyrants any favors.  They'll do the bare minimum - every time.
• ENOUGH WITH THE HONEY-COATED-ACID TALK ABOUT TEAMS ALREADY!!!  Don't you get that this isn't a team?  It's a barely-held-together group of people who couldn't care less about you or the company they work for.  Wanna know why??  Because of the way you treat us.
• Why is it that we are measured up to the rules and regulations under a microscope, but you are free to listen to or not, support or not, take care of or not, the people who depend on you to do their jobs?  And why is it that I keep hearing about the serious repercussions people have suffered for speaking up about concerns they have?
• I HATE. HATE. HATE. toilets that spit at me as they're attempting to suck the whole of the universe down the drain.  I also HATE auto-flushing toilets when they decide to flush just as I sit down.  HATE.
• I know you're not aware that my body is rebelling against my work environment, (my back end hurts from sitting on that stupid chair all day; my eyes are tired from staring at a computer screen all day; my wrists and forearms are seriously stiff and sore from near-constant typing; my eyes are not only tired, but are dried out and scratchy from the fan I have to use to counter-act the sauna effect we get everytime we go to work; my neck and back have been filled with pinched nerves for the last 6 months because that stupid chair doesn't promote good posture and because I'm tensing up all day every day trying to go faster and do more....) but it shouldn't be that much of a surprise - this is all pretty common with desk jobs.  I imagine it's just too much to consider actually making efforts to make us comfortable?
• HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF SLACKING OFF!?!
• I HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. BUREAUCRACY.

I realize this leaves questions, and it's not that any of it's a secret.  It's just that I'm too discouraged to speak more clearly than this.  But to my mom, who will quite probably be worried sick, I'll say that nothing dreadful has happened, and that I'll be able to be a bit more specific after I've had some separation from it.

And because I'm really NOT an ungrateful jerk, I would like to say that I really do appreciate all the many wonderful aspects of my job.  I would list some of them now but I'm much too tired.